Getting Honest About Your Alcoholism

It all started with a post I saw in a Facebook recovery group. A gentleman was defending his status as a “functional alcoholic,” proudly stating that while he had stopped drinking, he was in control the whole time. He minimized his relationship with alcohol, treating it as a misunderstood friend. This mindset is familiar to many who struggle with addiction. I remember having similar justifications: calling myself a “binge drinker” in college or labeling myself “functional” as long as I wasn’t fired. But the truth? That denial leads us to dangerous territory in our recovery.

Addiction often comes with layers of denial. We convince ourselves that as long as we’re holding things together, our drinking isn’t “that bad.” But for many, the idea of being a “functional alcoholic” is a way to avoid the painful truth about alcohol’s impact. If you find yourself downplaying your relationship with alcohol, this article is for you. We’re going to dive into how you can confront denial, embrace sobriety fully, and begin living a life that isn’t just sober, but truly happy.

Understanding Denial: The Illusion of Control Denial comes in many forms. Whether it’s calling yourself a “binge drinker” because you only drink on weekends or using the term “functional alcoholic” to excuse daily drinking, these labels are shields from the truth. Denial prevents us from seeing the full extent of how alcohol impacts our lives, leading us to justify harmful behaviors. For me, this manifested in various stages, from binge drinking during my college years to holding onto a career while my personal life crumbled. Denial is not just the refusal to see a problem—it’s actively defending the behaviors that lead to addiction.

The Cycle of Justification and Relapse When we refuse to face the truth, we set ourselves up for relapse. Denial breeds justification, and in moments of stress, loneliness, or boredom, the mind clings to the perceived benefits of drinking. We convince ourselves that alcohol will bring relief, ignoring the inevitable consequences. This cycle keeps us stuck, repeating the same mistakes. Getting honest about our relationship with alcohol is the first step in breaking free.

Analyzing Your Drinking: A Path to Clarity To move past denial, I took an objective approach to analyze my relationship with alcohol. It wasn’t enough to just acknowledge I was an alcoholic. I had to understand the reasons I drank, the excuses I made, and the consequences that followed. Going all the way back to when I started drinking helped me identify patterns, like the way I justified drinking in college because it seemed like “part of the experience.” By listing both the perceived benefits and the harsh consequences, I saw my drinking for what it truly was: destructive.

Questions to Challenge Your Denial If you’re unsure whether alcohol is really affecting your life, start by asking yourself some tough questions:

• Is drinking delaying your dreams or goals?
• Are you ashamed of the things you do when you drink?
• Is your drinking affecting your ability to be present in important relationships?
• Are you truly living the life you want, or are you just getting by? These questions aren’t easy to face, but they can be the wake-up call you need to move forward.

Finding Support and Self-Care Confronting denial is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. Reaching out to a trusted friend, therapist, or even a recovery group can provide the support and perspective needed to push through. Just make sure it’s someone who won’t co-sign on your justifications. Along the way, self-care becomes crucial. For me, therapy, exercise, and even long road trips helped me heal emotionally and learn to survive sober. You’ll need to find what works for you, and yes, it may take some trial and error. But it’s worth it.

The journey to sobriety isn’t just about quitting alcohol. It’s about being honest with yourself, confronting your denial, and taking responsibility for your actions. By examining the true impact of alcohol on your life and refusing to let denial hold you back, you can finally start to live fully—not just as someone who is sober, but someone who is truly happy.

Are you ready to confront the truth about your relationship with alcohol? If so, there’s much more to explore. In this week’s episode of the Sober and Happy Podcast, we dive deep into the concept of denial and how it keeps us trapped in harmful cycles. I share personal stories and practical steps for moving beyond denial, so you can begin living your best sober life. Listen now, and start your journey toward true freedom today!