Why Does It Seem Like Everybody Drinks?

The False Belief That “Everyone Drinks”

Everywhere we look—movies, songs, advertisements, and grocery store aisles—we are bombarded with the message that alcohol is essential to life’s enjoyment. It can feel isolating when you quit drinking, as if you’re the only person in a society that seems to revolve around alcohol.

When I got sober, I believed I was entering a world where I would always be the odd one out. Like many in recovery, I assumed that everyone either drank or was in recovery because they had to stop.

But what if I told you this perception is not only inaccurate but that millions of people don’t drink—not because they have to abstain, but because they simply choose not to?

The Revelation: Not Everyone Drinks

I’ll never forget going on a date after getting sober.  We met on match.com, and since her profile said she didn’t drink, I automatically assumed the woman didn’t drink because she was in recovery like me. Her answer surprised me: “I drank a few times in college, didn’t like how it made me feel and decided not to drink anymore.”

Her choice was a revelation. She wasn’t in recovery. She didn’t have a problem. She simply didn’t drink because she didn’t want to.

This opened my eyes to something I hadn’t considered: Choosing not to drink doesn’t have to be tied to addiction or recovery.

Seeing What Was Always There

After that moment of realization, I began to notice something I had completely overlooked before—there were people all around me who didn’t drink. It wasn’t that they had suddenly appeared; they had always been there. My perspective had simply shifted. 

I realized how much of my focus had been on those who drank while I unconsciously ignored the many people who lived full, happy lives without alcohol. It was a profound change as if a veil had been lifted, revealing an entirely different way of experiencing the world—one I hadn’t allowed myself to see before.

The Facts About Non-Drinkers

• 38% of Americans Don’t Drink at All: That’s 126 million people who abstain from alcohol entirely.
• Declining Drinking Among Young Adults: Each year, fewer young people are choosing to drink, signaling a shift in societal norms.
• Top Reasons People Don’t Drink: The majority of non-drinkers simply don’t have the desire, don’t like it, or see it as unhealthy—not because they’ve struggled with addiction.

The Lies We’re Told

From beer commercials to movies, drinking is portrayed as the norm. But the truth is that a significant portion of the population doesn’t drink, and many more drink only occasionally.

Finding a Community Beyond Alcohol

Where to Meet Non-Drinkers

If you’re looking to expand your social circle with more people who don’t drink, consider:

• Recovery groups like AA, Celebrate Recovery, or SMART Recovery.
• Self-improvement spaces like gyms, yoga studios, or meditation retreats.
• Activity-focused groups such as hiking or art clubs, where alcohol isn’t the centerpiece.

Observing the World Differently

When you stop assuming “everyone drinks,” you’ll notice people around you who choose not to. Whether it’s at a restaurant, a baseball game, or a concert, there are always people sipping soda or water instead of beer.

Authenticity Attracts Connection

When I stopped hiding my sobriety and openly said, “No thanks, I don’t drink,” I found that other non-drinkers naturally gravitated toward me. Many of them shared that they, too, avoided alcohol simply because they didn’t like it.

Shifting Your Perspective

Challenge old beliefs by recognizing that sobriety does not make you an outcast. As I discovered, not everyone drinks, and the idea that being sober isolates you is far from the truth. You’re not alone in choosing a sober path, and many others share this journey.

It’s also essential to embrace the truth about alcohol culture. For years, alcohol marketing has pushed myths about drinking, making it seem like the key to connection and fun. In reality, many people find drunk behavior more irritating than entertaining. Sobriety doesn’t isolate us—it’s the mistaken belief that we’re the only ones making this choice that can make us feel isolated.

You’re Not Alone

The world isn’t as alcohol-focused as it seems, and sobriety doesn’t make you an outcast. In fact, millions of people live vibrant, fulfilling lives without alcohol—by choice. Embrace this new perspective and see how it transforms your journey.

If you want more insight and inspiration on this topic, listen to this week’s episode of The Sober and Happy Podcast.