Your Sober Guide To The Holidays

The Gift Exchange Gone Wrong

I’ll never forget my first holiday season in recovery. Fresh out of rehab, I had meticulously prepared a relapse prevention plan. Yet, life had other plans. At my work’s white elephant gift exchange, I somehow managed to select not one, not two, but three alcohol-themed gifts. It was the first time I’d held a bottle since getting sober, and anxiety took over.

What could have been a disastrous moment taught me one of the most valuable lessons about sobriety: the importance of having someone who has your back. A close coworker (the only person at work who knew I was sober) lightened the situation with humor, helped me discard the wine, and turned a stressful day into something I could laugh about.

The holidays are filled with potential triggers, but with the right preparation and mindset, they can be a time of joy and growth.

Introduction: Finding Joy in Sobriety During the Holidays

The holiday season can be challenging for anyone in recovery. Parties, family dinners, and social obligations often come with stress, pressure, and plenty of alcohol. But these moments don’t have to derail your progress.

This article will explore strategies for not only surviving the holidays sober but also thriving during them. From building a support network to mastering the art of saying no, these tips will help you create a meaningful and enjoyable holiday season.

Tips For A Sober Holiday

1. Build a Support System. Having someone who understands and supports your sobriety is invaluable. My coworker’s support made all the difference during the white elephant exchange. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or fellow person in recovery, find someone who can help you navigate difficult situations.  Support can look different for everyone. For me, humor eases tension, and my coworker helped me laugh about the absurdity of the gift exchange. If you prefer a more serious approach, find someone who communicates that way to support you.
2. Communicate Clearly. Family gatherings can be particularly tough if you’re around people who don’t fully understand or respect your sobriety. Open communication is crucial and is best done in advance when possible. Clear, honest conversations can transform potential challenges into opportunities for deeper connections and support.
3. Set Boundaries and Prioritize Your Sobriety.  It’s okay to say no. Whether it’s a family dinner or an office party, if you feel it might jeopardize your sobriety, you are not obligated to attend. Declining invitations early in recovery is not a sign of weakness but a commitment to your health.
4. Have an Exit Strategy.  If you decide to attend holiday events, have an exit strategy. Drive yourself or coordinate with someone who will support you leaving early if needed. Make sure they understand your sobriety is the priority and your ride is not someone who is going to pressure you to “just stay a little longer” when you say you need to leave.
5. Know Your Triggers and Have a Plan. The holidays are rife with potential triggers: stress, family dynamics, and the prevalence of alcohol. Being prepared can make all the difference.
   1. Know your triggers: Reflect on past holidays and identify situations that made you uncomfortable.
   1. Have a plan: If you know Uncle Bob will offer you a drink, prepare a polite but firm response ahead of time. If certain conversations stress you out, plan ways to redirect them.
6. Stay Connected to Your Why. Your reason for staying sober is your most powerful tool. During the holidays, temptations can feel overwhelming, but a deeply rooted “why” can make those temptations disappear.  If your “why” isn’t crystal clear yet, I recommend listening to episode #2 of this podcast, where I discuss finding your purpose in sobriety.

Thriving, Not Just Surviving

The holidays don’t have to be a minefield for those in recovery. With a solid support system, open communication, healthy boundaries, and a strong connection to your purpose, you can confidently navigate this season.

Sobriety is about more than abstaining from alcohol—it’s about building a life that makes staying sober worth it. The holidays can be a beautiful opportunity to practice the tools and habits that help you grow into the best version of yourself.

Let’s Make This Holiday Season One to Celebrate

As you prepare for the holiday season, take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you. How can you align your actions with your goals for sobriety?

For more tips, stories, and insights, listen to the full episode of The Sober and Happy Podcast. Whether you’re navigating your first holiday season sober or your tenth, this episode offers practical advice and encouragement to make the season meaningful and joyful.